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Meet Brandy Salazar!

Brandy Salazar is a beautiful mom of two gorgeous girls and the wife and partner to Lance. After a very tough couple years of marriage adjusting to a relationship as parents that resulted in a separation, Brandy and Lance were able to intentionally make their marriage a priority and rekindle their romance and love for one another in 30 DAYS. Yes. You read that correctly, separated to back in love in a month. Mind blowing right?! Brandy and Lance now has a company called Legendary Couples with Kids, where they help coach couples and teach them to have exceptional, legendary relationships while juggling daily life and parenting.

In this episode, Brandy is sharing some of the ways her and her husband were able to reconnect, get on the same page, and make their relationship legendary. We’re talking about communication, date nights, and simple ways to connect so we too can have legendary relationships full of memories made with our partner.

SHOW SPONSOR

Download my free guide to celebrating Valentine’s Day below! This digital download outlines my favorite tips and ideas, while giving you recipes, full tutorials, and links to purchase any supplies you may need to make Valentine’s Day special for your family this year! You’re going to love it! 

It Starts With YOU!

It’s no secret that I am a big fan of personal development. Since deciding to make myself and my growth a priority, I have become a different person. I am a much better wife and mother because I am able to understand and vocalize my needs in a more productive way. When you work on yourself and your own issues, you are able to more authentic and intimate in your marriage. Both people need to put themselves first and work on that relationship, before the marriage can be dealt with. Getting on the same page can be tricky. It can’t be forced. You can only control yourself and where you are in your own journey, so focus on that first, and then hopefully your partner can see the amazing changes happening and want to do some work on themselves too.

The journey to personal growth started when I started my business, Allison Carter Celebrates. I never thought I’d start a business, it really fell into my lap, but it has completely changed my life in so many ways. Starting a business may not be your thing. But I wonder what is? Is there a hobby you had before kids that you loved? What about a new skill you’re interested in learning? Wanting to try a new exercise? Make the time for it! There is an online class for literally anything and everything, so search for something and make the commitment to yourself to follow through! I promise it’ll be one of the best changes in your life and relationship you can do. And zero mom guilt, friend. Focusing on yourself will make you a better mom. You are allowed to leave them and do something for you. It’s not selfish, it’s necessary.

Are you Directing and Correcting?

One of the topics Brandy I discussed that resonated the most with me was the concept of directing and correcting. You know…the always checking in, telling (ok demanding) that are partners are doing what we want and when we want them.  Let’s share some examples…”Get the kids shoes.” or “why is she dressed like that?” Imagine is someone micromanaged us all day long. The nitpicking is emasculating and also turns you into the boss. Step back and ask yourself…when did you become the boss? Why is it your way or the highway? Brandy’s coach challenged her to stop directing and correcting for 2 weeks. Seems impossible, right? Especially for someone with young kids. But once she realized she was in a partnership, the need to direct or the importance she put on her way started to dissolve. Now, she says it’s pretty rare that this happens! This is definitely an area that I need to work on. There’s no reason I need to dictate how the family and house is run. My husband is just as big a part of it as I am…and isn’t a partner what we say we always say we want?

 

The 4 Foundations of a Relationship

1. You- This is where it starts- you need to be happy with you as an individual before the partnership work begins

2. Partnership– The daily routines of life- schedules, systems, strengths/weaknesses, roles

3. Friendship– Bringing back the fun and remembering why you like each other/fell in love in the first place

4. Lovers: Vulnerability and intimacy- this foundation can only happen is the other 3 are solid!

Date Night Ideas

Think about what stage of the relationship foundation you are currently in. If you are in friendship, then go have FUN! Go out and do something you both enjoy. Pretend you are back in the beginning of your relationships. Also, make sure you are focusing on conversation. It’s easy to think we know everything about our partner, but we really don’t. Have a list of silly questions you find on Pinterest! Print them out and stick them in a bowl for a fun get to know you date. Crack open a bottle of wine and start choosing questions. The conversation will be fun and this helps you not revert back to topics like the kids. house, or work!

4 foundations of your relationship? 4 dates to do!

The first is a date with yourself. Are you seeing the importance of working on yourself? Something you do for yourself once a week. Take a break, read a book, a bath, dinner with friends, shopping alone, etc.  The second is a partnership date. This is where you review the schedule of the week, check in on how everyone’s doing, and get on the same page. The third date is the friendship date. This is where you go have FUN! Ask each other silly questions, make a fun dinner, play a game, do an activity, etc. The idea is fun! The fourth date is the lovers date. This is about being intimate and Brandy suggests syncing this with your cycle so you are in the best position you can to be intimate with your partner in a way that both of you are wanting to be!

Download the My Flow App to get you and your partner on the same page when it comes to your cycle! Brilliant idea!

 The most important part of date night? Scheduling and committing to it. Get it on the calendar and follow through. This is the first major step to it actually happening. Intentional time dedicated to growing your relationship.

 

The Miracle Morning

Brandy and Lance have a book coming out on Valentine’s Day (Feb. 14)! They teamed up with the masterminds behind Miracle Morning and have written, Miracle Mornings for Couples! This check in system is something they’ve used with success for their own personal development and have tweaked it to work for their relationship. The system is a quick check in at some point during the day (yes, every day!) with the 4 following areas.

TEAM

T-Touch (hand on the leg, kiss, hug, etc)

E-Education (something you learned/want to know about each other)

A-Appreciation (something you recognized the other person doing that you noticed and appreciated)

M– Meeting (getting a grasp on the day ahead and making sure we are on the same page)

Grab your copy of the Miracle Morning for Couples book on Valentine’s Day!

The Final Takeaways

You need to commit. Together, commit to making a change for the better. Use Brandy’s free guide for Relationship Planning to cast your shared vision! This is a great at home date night for the next couple weeks. It’s your map and vision for where you want to go in your relationship. Remember, if you aim at nothing, you’ll hit it every time. Creating it together is the key, and then one step at a time. One little tweak and step in the direction of reconnection can make your relationship legendary. Seems manageable, right?!

Two Amazing Resources from Brandy and Lance

of Legendary Couples!

1. Their new book, Miracle Morning for Couples coming out on Feb. 14!

2. Their free Relationship Planning Guide!

 

Connect with Brandy!

Website: Legendary Couples with Kids

Instagram

Facebook

Please SUBSCRIBE to the show, SHARE with your friends, and leave a REVIEW! This helps get the show in front of even more mamas, and allows me to get awesome guests who are going to blow your mind!

Head on over to my free Facebook group, Memories in Moments Insiders! There you’ll find additional resources to support each episode, more information on guests and how you can connect with them, visual and video tutorials, and best of all, connection as we navigate parenting and making memories together!

JOIN THE FACEBOOK GROUP! 

SHOW SPONSOR

Download my free guide to celebrating Valentine’s Day below! This digital download outlines my favorite tips and ideas, while giving you recipes, full tutorials, and links to purchase any supplies you may need to make Valentine’s Day special for your family this year! You’re going to love it! 

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