Anyone feeling like a you just need a big hug from your mom or a mentor in your life? That good comforting everything is going to be okay hug? That’s what this episode is. I’m speaking with one of my mentors, Christine Muenz, who truly taught me how to be the mother I am today. We are venting and chatting about the struggle that is 2020 and Christine has a magic way about her that makes you feel like you are doing a great job and that everything will be just fine. I walked away from this conversation SO recharged- exactly the vent/therapy session I needed and I know you will love and value Christine as much as I do!
Meet Your New Mom Life Guru, Christine!
Christine is a mom of 3 grown up kids, an instructor at a local hospital’s parent baby group, and a speaker and writer for professional conferences teaching about pregnancy and postpartum care for mothers. I met her as one of my instructors at that parent baby group and have been grateful for her every single day since!
Christine is a bit of a celeb among my friends and I. She is a huge part of why we have such a close knit tribe and sisterhood. Us going to that basement every week, sharing, being so incredibly open and vulnerable, and really forming a community. She is the heart of that and I was SO freaking grateful she came on the show with us because we all need that mom energy right now. We are tapped out as moms and are giving, giving, giving. This episode is about asking for help, venting, and RECEIVING.
Find Your Tribe
Community is everything, and at a time where we feel more alone than ever, we need to either find or lean on that community. Seek out women in the same stage of life you are. The success of my tribe? We have babies the same age. Thats what binds us. Our kids were born within weeks of each other and we can understand exactly what each of us are going through. Sleep regression? Teeth? Emotional outbursts because of virtual school. We are living each thing together. Huge for creating a bond!
Questions with Christine
We Can Do Hard Things
This is hard. It’s hard for us, our partners, our kids. We are all just hanging on. Time to give ourselves some grace. This sucks right now, but it will get better. Too much screen time? Too much bad food? It’s okay. It’s not forever.
Also, big reminder for me. There are other people living in this pandemic that are not me. We all have feelings and big feelings about everything going on, and it’s east to forget we each have feeling and things we’re worried about. Some of us are way better about sharing our feelings and venting, and others are not, but that doesn’t mean that they aren’t under the same stress.
Acknowledging that everyone in the house are people. They aren’t just small little things living in our house. They are people with feelings and struggles. Instead of thinking of ourselves as parents and kids with conflict and issues, what if we thought about our kids as roommates? Lower the bar. Would we speak to our kids in the same way we would a best friend or roommate? She’s being a huge pain in the butt right now, I’m going to yell and punish her…or she must be going through something hard right now, I’m going to give her a little space and grace. BIG shift.
I am the first to admit that I am experiencing so much rage and being a yelly parent lately…and I HATE it. It’s the thing that I hate most about my parenting.
Guess what. I’m a completely empty vessel. I need to fill up.
Spoiler alert. Your partner also needs to fill up. Lean on each other and give each other time to be alone and recharge.
Each member of the family needs their own TIME and SPACE. Number one. They have to know they can escape each other if they need to, and know that that space will be respected. And then as the parent, we have to make sure they get that space and distract the other one if needed!
Something silly and can potentially shock that out of their drama. Force them to do something together- holding hands or being connected sometimes. The goal? They have to work together to finish a task. Christine had them share a shirt (her husband’s with a hole cut out the top for both) and pick up dog poop outside together. Ultimately at the end they’re laughing and forgetting about why the heck they even got in this predicament anyway!
Making Your Home HOME, Not Work or School
Space. Break it up- if possible. Christine’s number one piece of advice- try not to have them do school in their bedrooms. Just like with discipline, you don’t want to use their bedroom and bed as a punishment. It should be their safe place and again, not a place to remind them that they’re there with school or seeing their folders as they go to bed. However, if space doesn’t allow for them to have another space in the house, then that’s fine. Try to clean up the desk or tidy a bit before bed so they don’t have to think they’re sleeping at “school.”
Treat Your Kids Like They’re People
Our kids are people. They have giant feelings and are allowed to express them. Telling them they are fine, making them stop crying, somewhat shaming them, etc. not okay. This one also really helps with patience during this time as well.
Connect with Christine!
Christine is currently working on getting a website up and running, so if you are dying to chat with her- please send me an email that says I need Christine!! and I will pass her info along to you!
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