Meet Your New Guru, Dr. Sheryl Ziegler!
I devoured nationally recognized psychologist and author, Dr. Sheryl Ziegler’s book, Mommy Burnout. I’ve never in my life read a book I’ve resonated with more! I found myself and many girlfriends of mine in the pages of it. I laughed, cried, was embarrassed, but overall felt heard and understood. As we know, mommin’ aint easy, friend, and Dr. Sheryl outlines the most serious epidemic plaguing moms all over the world- mommy burnout. She does so in a way that is so relatable and easy to read and you’ll finish the book feeling relief for at least two reasons. First because you’re so not alone in how you feel, and second, she gives perscription plans after each chapter giving you tips and solid advice on how to battle the burnout and enjoy this parenting ride a whole heck of a lot more! Another thing I loved? Dr. Sheryl is a wife and working mom of three kids, ages 6, 9, and 11. She gets it. She’s not just another doctor doling out advice in a season she doesn’t understand. She’s lived it, outcome it, and is here to help!
In this episode, Dr. Sheryl and I talk about mommy burnout. What the heck it is, why it’s so common in for moms to experience, and the perscription plan to battle the burnout and say goodbye once and for all!
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Am I Just Tired or Am I Burnt Out?
Dr. Sheryl runs a private child and family therapy practice and talks with a lot of the moms of the kids she sees. She saw many common patterns in the things the moms were saying. Things like “I’m so tired,” “is this all there is to life?,” not being fulfilled, etc. She decided to not have this kept a secret and talk about it. Get these feelings out in the open so these moms don’t feel so alone.
I was curious as what the distiction was for being really tired and typical “mom life” and being burned out. I feel like a lot of moms fall back on being tired because moms are “supposed” to be tired. Not so much, mamas!
Sound familiar?? Be honest!
Lack energy during the day?
Beat yourself up for decisions you make?
Reach for junk food too often?
Looking forward to that end of day wine too much?
Popping pain killers?
Do you get sick and stay sick?
Little interest in sex?
Dodging calls or in person meetings?
Can’t remember the last time you did something for yourself?
Do you snap and yell at your kids?
Are you forgetful?
Once in a while do you sit and cry by yourself?
One of the biggest ways to battle this? ASK FOR FREAKING HELP!
For someone that likes control, likes things done in a certain way and feels like I can do things better and faster myself…I get how hard this is. But I can’t be the wife, mom, and business owner I want to be if I don’t get some dang help. Which is worth more? Keeping control of everything…or letting something go and being happier in your life?
Another thing Sheryl talks a ton about as something to help this burnout- a tribe or girlfriends. Relationships with women and a sense of community is incredibly important for a couple reasons. Ever heard of fight, flight or freeze when it comes to handling stress? A UCLA study has shown that this rings much truer for males. Women on the other hand are wired to tend and befriend- tend to your children and befriend women in your community. That is the most natural way to handle stress for women, but right now, we are tending to our children too much and not befriending other women at all due to time. When we are in the presence of other women, we also have a flood of oxytocin- a super positive hormone that makes us feel good and loved. I know I’ve felt that high when I leave a great girls night and now I know why! Have you ever regretted getting together with girlfriends? Chances are not, so stop saying you’re busy, say yes and love on your tribe! Don’t have a tribe? Listen to Episode 48: Girlfriends- Where to Find Them and How to Love Them. Go text your girlfriends right now! Easy challenge!
How Is Our Burnout Affecting Our Kids?
If Dr. Sheryl hasn’t convinced you that we need to face this Mommy Burnout immediately, the effect on your kids hopefully will. Being the best parent we can starts with us. We need to work on ourselves before we can pour into others. Our kids can only be as healthy as we are. This is something we know…but is so hard for us to actually do! With the mental health crisis on the rise, suicide rates, cyber bullying, etc. we are seeing our kids under more stress than ever. For us to put more stress on them through trying to do it all, wanting/putting them to be their best, and overscheduling them is becoming dangerous.
Go connect with Dr. Sheryl and say THANK YOU!
Buy the Book: Mommy Burnout
Listen to the Podcast: Dr. Sheryl’s Podcouch
Watch the TED Talk: Why Moms Are Miserable
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