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We Went on a Double Date, and You’re Invited!

I am SO excited to get this episode out to you! This was a really fun one because I not only interviewed two people, Sierra and Zach Batson, I went to high school together (Go Knights!), BUT my husband co-hosted with me! We did this one double date style and really discussed how our marriages continue to grow and change as we individually change. Sierra and Zach are high school sweethearts like my husband and I so we both have a very unique perspective on how to grow as partners when we are completely different people than those that met almost 20 years ago.

Sierra and Zach are relationship coaches with their company, Be Intact.

In this episode, the four of us are talking all about nurturing our relationships as we change and grow as individuals. Both of us can fall into the trap of “well you used to…” and we just aren’t the same people we once were, and that’s a good thing! So how do we keep our relationship strong and be on the same page as our partners as we constantly change and grow? We talk about this in addition to expectations and some really fun date night ideas with Sierra and Zach!

 

 

SHOW SPONSOR

It’s finally here! My Ultimate Busy Mom’s Guide to Surviving and Thriving This Summer!

This guide has everything you need to make cherished memories with your kids this summer while still tackling your to-do list and not playing cruise director for months. Looking for the answer to having the most memorable, productive, and fun summer of your parenting life thus far?

Click here and download your guide!

 

Who knew these babies would grow up, create families, and be chatting about marriage together 17 years later!

Your are Not the Same Person

It’s important to acknowledge, that unless you got married like this week, you are NOT the same people you were when your relationship started. And that’s a good thing! We want to be changing and evolving as individuals, but sometimes we look back on our early years as a couple and wish we could go back in time. Because…#kids. You can’t just be spontaneous like you were before.

Think of how different your relationship is right now vs when you met. When you met there was playfulness, exploration and time for each other. 

Commit to Grow- Personally and as a Couple

Seek out coaching, resources, and start a conversation about what this looks like for you and your relationship. Also, you need to understand that this is work. This is not an easy hurdle to get past, especially as one partner isn’t as sold as the other. This mindset shift, for both of us at least, was not an overnight change either so give yourself grace with this.

Think of this as a diet. If you are both on two different diets, you are inevitably shopping at two different stores and eating different things. One of you is going to anchor the other down . When you can get on that same page with energy, focus, and commitment. Ryan and I can very easily get in that rut of ships passing in the night. We get along, everything is going “fine”, but there is nothing intentional or productive happening in the relationship.

“Do you trust that I don’t want to do anything to hurt us?” I LOVED this question Sierra and Zach ask each other when one is approaching a new subject or growth experience. It really levels the field which is super necessary. 

Changing Expectations

As your relationship evolves, your kids get older, and lives get busier, expectations need to also change. The house may not be as nice and tidy as it once was because you have toddlers. For me, I am not as strict or consistent with chores as I once was because every second I’m not with my kids, I’m working on my business. That means household chores, meals, etc. have to be split between Ryan and I way more than they once were.  Take evaluation at where your relationship is at right now, and do this often.  If we are each at point A wanting to get to point B…are we both at A? Or are we at totally different places? Sierra and Zach make this evaluating a massive priority. These check-ins are something so realistic you can try today with your partner to see where everyone’s at and what expectations are needed for everyone to be on the same page and understanding.

 

Date Your Spouse!

Raise your hand if you’ve ever felt the dating rut? You get a sitter, you go to dinner, reconnect, it’s great…and then that’s about it. Ryan and I fall into this all the time. We don’t always take the time to be intentional and plan a fun activity- and while both of us LOVE to eat and trying a new restaurant is one of my all time favorite things…I want to be experiencing new things and activities with my partner! Sierra and Zach had some AWESOME date night ideas that we are totally going to steal! Remember, you started your relationship as friends, so keep nurturing that friendship!

City Pass

Most cities have a City Pass! Never would have that of that one! Grab a City Pass and be a tourist in your own city! We’ve all lived in Seattle our whole lives, but you still don’t really experience your city all the time. One tip they had was to buy on the off season so you could use it for months vs. a couple days in peak season.

Season Tickets at Your Local Theater

Already booked and on the schedule! What a fun idea! They both love musicals so this one worked great for them!

AirBnB Overnights

Did you know that you could rent houseboats, hobbit homes, treehouses, etc. on AirBnB? Such a fun idea for an affordable but unique overnight!

Coloring

SO relaxing and the perfect time to be a little creative, relax and have some good conversations! Open up a bottle of wine and get coloring…or any other creative thing you may enjoy. Puzzles would also be fun!

Something Zach said that I really loved was, “don’t assess whether or not that sounds fun.” Pick something you’ve never done with your partner before and go do it. This brings back a little of that spontaneity and exploration that you may be missing from your earlier years. Get out of your comfort zone, play and get out there together! Get out of the norm and go do something fun!

 Working with Sierra and Zach

 Sierra and Zach are relationship coaches and lead workshops for couples. They are dedicated to teaching what a relationship really is because you can’t really work on or fix something until you know what it is. They also participate in Couples Teaching Couples. These are groups all over the country that meet and get together virtually to chat about your relationship with a group of other couples holding each other accountable.

 If you want to attend their upcoming workshop, Sierra and Zach are offering a discount code! Just email letsrelate@beintact.com with the subject line: the real deal and get more info!

 Books/Resources

 The Real Deal

The Love Dare

Relationship by Design– the creators of the workshop and authors of The Real Deal!

Connect with Sierra and Zach Batson!

Email

Website: Be Intact

Instagram

Facebook

Listen to their Podcast: Be Intact!

Please SUBSCRIBE to the show, SHARE with your friends, and leave a REVIEW! This helps get the show in front of even more mamas, and allows me to get awesome guests who are going to blow your mind!

Head on over to my free Facebook group, Memories in Moments Insiders! There you’ll find additional resources to support each episode, more information on guests and how you can connect with them, visual and video tutorials, and best of all, connection as we navigate parenting and making memories together!

JOIN THE FACEBOOK GROUP! 

Follow Allison on Instagram!

 

SHOW SPONSOR

It’s finally here! My Ultimate Busy Mom’s Guide to Surviving and Thriving This Summer!

This guide has everything you need to make cherished memories with your kids this summer while still tackling your to-do list and not playing cruise director for months. Looking for the answer to having the most memorable, productive, and fun summer of your parenting life thus far?

Click here and download your guide!

 

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