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Meet Our Newest Mom Friend, Ashley Carbonatto!

Ashley is a PNW mom of 3, married to her college sweetheart and is rocking the everyday mom life! She’s been a mom blogger for about 8 years as a way to fuel her creative side and have an outlet for what mom life was like for her. That blog has led to building a community of women. Ashley has also just launched a t-shirt line of her own, providing snarky mom humor and fashion into a mom’s daily life. Just like most of us, Ashley is doing this in the margins of her busy life. The little snippets of time that pop up during the day that she can write, blog, and work on her fashion line.

 In this episode, Ashley and I are talking about transitioning our mom lives into summer. We dive deep into how NOT to be your kid’s cruise director all summer long, how to actually find time for yourself and your to-do list this summer, why it’s important for your kids to be bored and dare I say it…what Ashley’s screen free summers look like!

 

SHOW SPONSOR

It’s finally here! My Ultimate Busy Mom’s Guide to Surviving and Thriving This Summer!

This guide has everything you need to make cherished memories with your kids this summer while still tackling your to-do list and not playing cruise director for months. Looking for the answer to having the most memorable, productive, and fun summer of your parenting life thus far?

Click here and download your guide!

 

I’m Bored: Structuring the Summer for Success

I find that summers can often feel even busier than the school year. There’s activities, summer camps, late nights, tons of stimulation, and it can be hard to find that down time to just hang. OR we have that down time…and the kids immediately start complaining about being bored.

 Break down the summer weeks into 10-15 things you want to for sure do this summer. This is your summer bucket list. Choose one to schedule each week of the summer so you know you’re going to be doing something fun and summery with your family or friends each week, but the rest of the week can be a little more free.

 Research shows that kids that are raised in round the clock activities- the teacup generation because they’re so fragile due to the lack of skills to navigate boredom, self efficiency, and instant gratification. Having them be bored and forced to be creative and independent is one of the best things for kids. Ashley has seen this first hand with her own kids.

The goal?

Get kids to think for themselves and solve their “problem” of being bored. Taking control of their own actions is a hugely beneficial skill. They need to work and build that muscle. I don’t know about you, but it makes me feel better or less guilty when I have the mindset of this helping and shaping them. I’m giving them a gift. Just keep repeating that!

 Strategies for I’m Bored

Knowing the events of the day ahead of time.

Ashley has a large calendar in her house full of her family’s daily schedule in addition to the summer bucket list items. Her kids can go to that calendar and see what’s on the schedule for that day and start to learn how to build their day around that- modeling and talking through this is essential at first

“That sounds like a problem…let’s find a solution”

Focus on getting them brainstorming solutions to their boredom. This usually sparks something in their brains about find that it is they want to do. You can help them list things they could be doing when they’re bored and have them control and feel proud of themselves

Remember they’re transitioning from the structure of school

Summer schedules and routines need to be taught and trained, especially after being in the routine and very structured day of school. The freedom and loose schedules are great, but they need to be learned. It becomes a detox period until they catch onto the fact that mom isn’t there to entertain them all day long. Keep in mind…we are still present and want to hang with our kids…we just don’t have to (nor should we!) be responsible for entertaining them all day long.

But what about when the tantrums start?

First, you need to change your mindset and believe that not being the cruise director is okay. Until you feel comfortable with your kids entertaining yourself, you are immediately going to feel overwhelmed and summer will become total daunting.

 Set Your Expectations

We’ve got 18 summers with our kids. What do we want them to remember? What is important for your kids’ summer memories in your family’s story? Maybe being outside as much as possible, or not driving far a lot are important to you. Or having a schedule for the day and letting them know the expectation of what will happen during that time of day. If you have to work for an hour, then other than someone getting hurt, mommy isn’t available. Decide with your kids what they’ll do at that time. (Obviously be mindful of the age of your kid- nobody is encouraging little kids to be unsupervised).

 Setting up for success

Restock the art bins, clean out the kids’ rooms and playroom, and decide what are some fun things they can play with during the summer. You can even put this in a special place, or front and center, so your kids can see them and be excited to play with them next time for quiet/independent time.

 Timers

We live and breathe by timers in our house. When it’s time for you to get some work done or tackle some house stuff, set the timer, clearly give your little the expectation for that time, and both go off and do what you need to do. Know that they are going to continually ask for the timer to be done or how much longer, and just remind them of the expectation and their job and what you get to do together when the timer is up! Remember, it’s a process and a training that you’re going through!

 Mantras

Put your expectation on repeat. Think of when your kid is struggling with something- ours is hitting with Hudson right now. I continually just say to him, “we don’t get to do fun things when we hit” or “we don’t solve our problems with our hands.” It helps me to have something I can repeat over and over rather than yelling at him for hitting his sister. I think this could be super beneficial for the I’m bored interruptions also! “How can you solve that problem?” is a great one that puts the power back on them! It helps them take ownership and see success in solving their problems also.

Screen-Free Summer

Ashley is on year 4 of screen-free summers for her family. Yep, you heard that right.

She did it cold-turkey and the family went into major detox. After seeing her kids go straight to “can I play with the iPad?” as their go-to boredom cure. Her goal was for her kids to learn and practice creative play, not rely on their screen for their fun. The first summer she did it cold turkey, and now she has gradually reintroduced screens back into the routine, but only after the kids can show they’ve done other things before earning it. Playing outside, playing in their room, etc. If they can show they’ve checked off the boxes on their chart, they can earn a certain number of minutes. This may be a great first step into some screen detox for your family this summer!

Books and Resources Mentioned on the Show

 The Fringe Hours

The Techwise Family

Coddling of the American Mind 

Ashley’s Articles on Today Parenting Team

Earning Screen Time Free Printable

Go connect with Ashley and say Hey, Girl!

Blog: Design Style Purpose

Instagram

Facebook

Buy her T-Shirts!

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Head on over to my free Facebook group, Memories in Moments Insiders! There you’ll find additional resources to support each episode, more information on guests and how you can connect with them, visual and video tutorials, and best of all, connection as we navigate parenting and making memories together!

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SHOW SPONSOR

It’s finally here! My Ultimate Busy Mom’s Guide to Surviving and Thriving This Summer!

 

This guide has everything you need to make cherished memories with your kids this summer while still tackling your to-do list and not playing cruise director for months.

Looking for the answer to having the most memorable, productive, and fun summer of your parenting life thus far?

 

Click here and download your guide!

 

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